Chapter One: Introduction to Husband Hunting

I guess start with some general background information….. 20something who is now closer to 30…

I have recently joined my single friend in what we like to refer to as “Husband Hunting”. Previously I was living in a one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend. Then, for a few heavenly months, I was living in the same one bedroom apartment with my xboyfriend (That’s the same person for you fucking idiots that couldn’t figure it out). “Husband Hunting” if you will, is essentially delusional dating, a way to make light of the fact that most of my efforts to flirt or engage with the opposite sex all end the same way… crash, burn, and cinder.

This reality struck me one Saturday afternoon at STATS, sorry I’m not sorry.

I am neutral to the idea of being single, but my friends don’t think it will last. Personally, I think it’s more likely that I just joined the single for life club. Only time will tell as I live the warped deranged life of a twenty something trying to date.

 

Disclaimer: I have no experience blogging, minimal experience dating, and like I mentioned it’s very likely I am so damaged that I am going to remain single for life.

Next subject. Sunday demons . What keeps us all awake on Sunday nights wondering if satan is going to remove our souls in our sleep because the bender we just went on and sins we committed make us not worthy enough to be a human on earth. That is where the puppy boyfriend comes in. Someone who can sleep next to you to keep the satanic clan from relinquishing your soul. The puppy boyfriend isn’t a potential husband, he’s a figuasie. A fake. A fraud.

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