I am not proud to admit that after 10+ years of partying have perfected the art of spiraling out of control. One would think I may have achieved this in college, specifically during the 6 months I spent
studying partying in Australia. No, I am going to be 27 in two months, what do I have to show for this? I have a bunch of hazy memories and assorted skills, I know how to order drinks and shots at the bar, which cheap chardonnay tastes the least cheap, how to hit a bong and how to finish a bag of blow… What the hell did I do this weekend. I’m constantly in a dazed state of hangover induced anxiety and misery. I swear I can feel my body rejecting my organs every Monday and or Tuesday. Side note, should I go to Tia’s to celebrate Cinco De Mayo tonight?
How does one reach this state? It’s hard to say. It starts with having a crazy night every so often, then you realize Figawi 2014 is in two weeks away and you basically haven’t sobered up since Figawi 2013. Fuck. There is always an event (also know as an excuse) to have a chill day celebrating whatever (spending $100s at the bar), next thing you know its Sunday morning and you need brunch, which naturally leads to a full day of boozing. When I retreat home to escape the city life of bingeing, I find myself sitting at the beach catching up with old friends and of course, drinking heavily. In the chance I am home and it’s not the summer I flee to a local bar, after a day spent walking and playing with my dog of course.
Is it possible to stop the cycle? I’m trying to be honest with myself and I think the answer is no. Not that I need to be whisked away to Passages Malibu, but I wouldn’t hate it. I wonder how many statement dress’ could I have purchased in place of my Storyville bar tab from Saturday night? How many Pilates classes is this multi day hangover going to set me back? Did I smoke 5 packs of cigarettes last week? OK, I’m quitting. At this point there’s one thing I’m not asking myself, and that is “why am I still single?” I have the sense to realize the writing is on the wall for this one. What do you do, when you realize you’ve perfected the art of spiraling out of control, and how do you begin the journey back up the loooonng long staircase? It’s almost summer, maybe I will revisit in the fall. Is a personal goal of sobering up by Figawi 2015 reasonable? I’ll let you know.